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Starting Over

February 26, 2010

The other day, I was having coffee with a friend of mine. Now I had known that this friend had been going through some hard times and I had originally reached out to her in an effort to show my support. Boy was I surprised when I realized that I was the one in need of support.

We began our visit with the usual “How have you been?” and gradually progressed on to the meat of the conversation. As she began opening up to me, I realized something. She didn’t NEED me, or anyone else for that matter. She has God. Plain and simple! She began to talk about what God was doing in her and how she was trusting in HIM to take her through to the other side. Then she began to talk about a bible study that had been ministering to her.

This bible study is apparently for everyone AND their problems. It’s about dumping all the brokenness at the cross. Well, it occurred to me (or God occurred it to me, lol) that I too have a problem. Now, normally I don’t like to present my problems to others as I feel that I don’t have a bad life and their problems are surely more important. WRONG! God has been showing me that I have some problems with a little pest called Anger.

You know that point where your husband continually does something that irritates you and you blow up? Yep, that’s me!

You know when your Elementary age child speaks to you in that voice that says he knows everything and you know nothing and you blow up? Yep, that’s me!

You know that point when you are trying to talk to someone and they either keep interrupting or they just turn from you and start something else and you yell for them to listen to you? Yep, that’s me again!

Okay, so I know that we all face these same situations. Some handle things better than others, and yes we are all human, but is this the behavior we want our children to model after? Is this the Christ like behavior that we are called, as followers of Christ, to exhibit to others as an example? Absolutely not! Now, atleast half of anyone that reads this will understand what I am talking about. You have either been there, or you know someone who has been/is there.

Let’s go back to this conversation that I was having with my friend. We begin to talk about trusting God, HE is the only one that can change this behavior in me and I have to be willing to let Him. In my effort to obtain a closer relationship to God, I purposed to do the Bible in 90 days, read the book of John twice during the season of Lent, and to read the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds with the day of the month.

Before I read scripture, I try and pray that God will show me what HE wants me to understand from each reading and guess what HE showed me???

Can you guess??

Proverbs 25:24
“Better to live on the corner of a roof than in a house shared with a nagging wife.”

WOW, that hurt for two reasons. The first being that, I struggle with nagging or trying to manipulate the subject when I really want to have my own way. And the second reason is that this isn’t the first time God has directed me to this particular scripture. Guess that means I need to get busy letting God get busy! Fortunately, I know that He still loves me, even when I mess up. It’s hard to start over, just like it’s hard to begin exercising. At the end, though, you know it will be worth every bit of blood, sweat, and tears!

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